It’s easy to strike up a new friendship on the playground when you’re young, but forming meaningful connections often becomes more difficult as we age. Forming and maintaining deep bonds takes time, and it’s often time that we cannot afford when keeping up with work and family commitments. This often means that many of us find ourselves lonely and socially isolated in retirement.
This is a bigger deal than you might think because according to a study by UCSF, the effects of isolation can be particularly severe for older adults. Those who reported experiencing loneliness and isolation were found to have a 45% higher risk of mortality and a 59% higher risk of experiencing mental and physical decline compared to their socially connected counterparts.
It’s important to remember though, that social isolation is not always the same as loneliness. One may live alone and not feel lonely, while others may be surrounded by people and still experience loneliness in retirement.
What can you do about it?
The great thing about being retired is that you’ll suddenly have your free time back. Without work to keep you busy, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to make new friends and foster engaging relationships.
Whether you’re seeking a romantic partner, or just looking for some friends, here are some tips to creating meaningful connections in retirement:
Join a community
One of the best ways to find like-minded people is to join a club or a community group. There are plenty of community groups for retirees to join, though some groups might require a membership fee. Alternatively, retirement communities like St Ives offer clubs and events that are optional for residents to participate in. These clubs and events are effective for developing meaningful relationships as you get to see the same people within the community on a regular basis.
Reconnect with old friends
With more free time on your hands, you’ll now have the ability to be flexible around the schedules of your friends and family. This opens up new opportunities to spend time with your loved ones or to reconnect with old friends who are already within your network, but whom you might not have had time to see as often while you were still working.
Be Intentional
Friendships take time to develop and effort to maintain. While it’s not necessary to invest in every friendship in your network, it’s good to intentionally spend time with specific groups or individuals that you connect well with. And for those who are looking to date the traditional way, this might be a good way to get to know the other person better.
Stay Proactive
Having the intention is the first step, taking action is the next! Taking the initiative to ask someone out for a coffee catchup, or hosting a dinner party at your place is a good way to ensure that you maintain your relationships with the ones who matter. By extending an invitation, you’ll also be creating opportunities for yourself to invest in the friendship and at the same time, letting the other person know that you’re interested in spending time with them.
Dating in retirement
Dating in retirement can be fun and exciting! There are many reasons why dating in retirement can be an advantage. Unlike your younger days, you’re more aware of what works for you and what doesn’t. You’re also more likely to know what you want.
These days, technology has evolved and there are plenty of ways to meet new people. Dating apps are a great way for older adults to meet new people as it enables you to indicate your age preference, beliefs and interests, and the app will match you up with someone who fits those requirements. In fact, a study done in 2018 showed that 56.3% of elderly who are dating have tried using online dating sites. That said, it’s important to be careful of romance scams which have become increasingly common over the years.
Or if you’re someone who prefers the traditional way of dating, you might consider moving to a retirement village. Living in a retirement village like St Ives is a great way to form meaningful relationships and close bonds through proximity to others.
Whether you’re making friends or dating in retirement, surrounding yourself with a community of people is important for your mental, emotional and physical health. If you want to make the most of this exciting new phase of your life, consider joining the St Ives community. In our villages, you’ll be surrounded by the things that make you happy. Enquire now!